Love Still Remains
by abandonedaccountbye
Summary: It's been one year since Kurt's life crumbled.
1. The Year After

It had been one year ago that Kurt Hummel's world crumbled around him.

His footsteps trod heavily over damp soil as he made his way through the headstones, finding a particular one in the back of the cemetery. Kurt clutched his sides as he knelt on the newly growing grass, uncaring about the state of his pants.

"Um, h-hey, you." His voice echoed through the graves.

"I'm sorry I haven't been to see you in the past weeks. It's been havoc at my house with the Hudson's moving back in. I told you, that Carole was pregnant, before..." Kurt stayed silent, not wanting to say the word; it was still raw to his mind and his heart. He closed his eyes.

"Her and Finn moved back into my dad's when she was seven months." Kurt smiled to himself. "She gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, on the 18th of October. They named her Grace. She's a lovely little baby, always smiling. She would have loved you."

A single tear ran down Kurt's cheek. He swiped it away quickly, "sorry. I know you wouldn't want me crying. Just, it's been a hard year. Everyone misses you, even Mercedes misses your presence." He laughed at the mention of his best friend. "She keeps telling me that I should stop coming here once a week. She says that I'm just hurting myself by re-opening the wound that was made when you...died." Kurt chose his words wisely.

"But I miss you so much."

He screwed his eyes shut tightly, attempting to keep his tears at bay. He sniffed the cold air and opened his eyes again to look at the words on the stone.

A tear dropped onto the stone, marking it with the small splash. Kurt furiously wiped it away before it could leave a mark or stain.

"Quinn is bad. She never really got over it. It was worse today, at school. Everyone whispering when any of the old Glee members walked by. She ended up screeching at Jacob Ben-Israel in second period today. Nobody had seen him since." Kurt laughed quietly at the memory. His heart still ached.

"Miss Pilsberry took her into her office to calm Quinn down. I think we all need that today." Kurt sniffed. The cold was getting to him but he still needed to speak.

"Glee club finished. No one wants to go anymore after you...went. Mr Schue nearly went into meltdown, and he raged at Sue when she said something about you. About _us_."

Kurt's tears spilled over. They flowed and came crashing down as fast as his soul had, that day one year ago.

"It's not fair. You don't deserve to be in the ground. I should be down there, not you!" Kurt sobbed. He hugged himself tightly and rocked himself. He didn't care about wiping his eyes anymore.

"Nobody speaks to Karofsky anymore. He was suspended for 6 months, and when he came back, even Azimio refused to speak to him. The whole hockey team ganged up on him, the first match he was back. Scratched him up pretty bad, broke his hand too." Kurt shook his head._ I __wish thats all you had to deal with._

"We graduate in a few months. It doesn't feel right. We were supposed to graduate together, then head off to New York, pursue our dreams."

"I remember when we were at my house that time. You nearly broke up with me, because you felt you were pulling me back from New York. I remember when you called yourself a Lima Loser, and that you should stay here, and I should go, because you'd just end up hurting me." He sniffed the air and looked upwards.  
"I remember your reaction when I just kissed you, and called you an idiot. And I remember...what happened afterwards." Kurt blushed at the thought.

"I'm not supposed to be at your grave. You're not supposed to be in the ground. You're supposed to be here with me, at my house, hiding our antics from my dad and playing Super Mario Bros." Kurt chuckled. His giggles turned into laughter and laughter into hysterics. Then he broke down, and he sobbed.

He lay his head on the cold stone and cried his heart out. His tears ran down the rock and into the canals where a name resigned. He placed his thumb on the first letter. The soprano traced the name with his thumb as more tears appeared.

"I'm sorry for crying. It's just...been a heck of a year. " He tried to sustain his tears as he spoke to the grave.

* * *

"...and I loved it when you called me Princess...even if I am a guy." He laughed at himself. He had been speaking to a grave for an hour, naming the things he loved about his first boyfriend. His worn out jeans, his cocky smirk, and how he pouted when he couldn't get what he wanted.

"I spoke to Miss Pilsberry. I told her I couldn't deal with you leaving. It hurt, so much. I was on the edge. But then she told me something, that, maybe it hurt so much not because you were gone, but because I was hiding something from you whilst you were here. It made sense."

Kurt looked to the sky, as if for courage. He took a deep, shaky breath and traced the name once more.

"I loved you...no. I-I love you. I'm just sorry I couldn't say it before you went."

He sobbed once more, tried to compose himself, and went on:

"I love you for what you were, what you are, and what you ever will be. I will love you till the day I die, even if when I die, I will be an old man and you will still be that 16 year old I fell in love with, I will still love you, and I will hope that you can just love me back like you used to."

Kurt cried. His eyes were tired, his throat was raw and his head ached. But he had to get it out of him.

"I can't let you go. I didn't want to let you go. I want to see you, just one more time. Just once more. But I know that can never happen." His tear-streaked face was pale as it had ever been, tears still cascading.

He kneeled up, and placed a chaste kiss onto the top of the stone.

"I love you."

Kurt stood, and stepped out of the cemetary, still sobbing.

* * *

Finn stalked through the house, trying to keep himself quiet as he made his way to the kitchen. Hey, he gets hungry at 3am. He created himself a sandwich and sat at the kitchen table.

Finn sighed in pleasure. It was a damn good sandwich. His appetite was paused when he heard whimpering from the basement. He stepped down the stairs into Kurt's bedroom, to see the soprano wriggling in his sleep, whimpering. At first Finn thought he was having a...sexual dream, until he realised what Kurt was whimpering about.

"No, stop, please..."

Finn's jaw became slack.

"Stop it, don't hurt him,

no,

please!"

Finn crossed the room and came to the side of Kurt's bed.

"Kurt?"

"Stop, no!

No!

NOAH!"

Kurt screamed at the top of his lungs that name. He jerked himself awake and sat up, tears streaming down his face.

"Oh Kurt..."

Kurt turned to his side to see Finn looking at him with sympathetic eyes. His tears continued as he threw himself into Finn's arms. Finn hugged him tightly, stroking his back in light circles.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt." Finn whispered into his ear. A tear ran down his right cheek.

"Please, make them stop." Kurt cried.

"Make them stop." His breathing hitched.

"Make him come back."

* * *

_He screwed his eyes shut tightly, attempting to keep his tears at bay. He sniffed the cold air and opened his eyes again to look at the words on the stone._

_Noah Puckerman_

_Taken from us, 6th May 2011_

_Beloved father, partner, friend and brother._

_Love still remains._

_

* * *

_

**A/N: OHAI GUISE! this is my first ever fanfiction. i didn't know whether to post it or not. it made me cry when i read it. for a hurt fanfic, thats usually a good sign, right? ****anyway, please review? i'd like them, so i know whether to write anything else. thank you everyone :D x**


	2. The Year Before

**hey everyone :) this is the story of how puck came to be dead. :'( sad i know, but i felt i had to explain a bit more. sorry if i make you cry guise. :( i'm also sorry the timelines a bit off...but oh well. imagine that regionals already happened at this point.**

**ALSO...spoilers in the characters appearances for season 2. yes, it's true, matt rutherford isn't returning, as far as i know. and yes, sam and sunshine are real characters, set to join the cast. :)  
read and review? 3 xx**

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* * *

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_6th May, 2010_

"Okay guys, assignments in for next Tuesday, have a good weekend." Mr Schue's voice rang over the abuzz of the music room, obviously affected by the stress of his newly rekindled love with Miss Pillsberry, his crazy ex-wife and the rage of Sue Sylvester.

After the Regionals debacle nearly a year ago, summer and after the continuous bullying for nearly 2 months by everyone in the school, the glee club was back to normal. Well, as normal as it could be. After their terrific loss, people were hesitant to join the club of misfits. Yet they still received the help of two students by the names of Sunshine Corazon and Sam Evans, but they lost Matt after his parents got fired from their jobs, and so they moved out of the district. The quiet boy still kept in contact with the club through Mike.

The other major difference, was the fact that Puck and Kurt were holding hands in the corner of the room, with Quinn and Mercedes sat next to Kurt. They had been going out for the best part of 9 months, and they'd both been happier than ever. Puck was now refered to as Noah by nearly everyone, except Finn and the football team. He'd always be Puck to Finn, and the football team just refused. He stopped the bullying, stopped slushying, stopped everything that was remotely unpleasant. It was as if Kurt had tamed him.

The bell rang and everyone got up to go home. They were slowly trickling out when Santana walked up to Puck.

"Hey San. Whats up?" Puck asked his ex-girlfriend, yet best friend. Although having a pretty serious relationship before Kurt and babygate, they were still best friends. And they hadn't tried to get into a relationship with one another since Regionals, they felt they were better as friends. If you asked Puck, he'd say it was the best decision. If either needed anything, they first went to their significant others, and then to each other.

"Hey Noah. Can I speak to you for a minute?"

"Yeah sure. Where's Britt?"

"That's who I want to talk about. She got a ride with another Cheerio."

Puck raised an eyebrow but nodded.

"Sure. I'll tell Kurt I'll go to his later."

"Hey Kurt?" He walked towards his boyfriend who had a girl on either side of him.

Kurt stopped his conversation and looked up at Puck.

"Well hello, Noah. What's wrong?"

Puck gestured behind him to a sullen looking Santana.

"She's having some...issues, I think. With Britt. She needs to speak to me a second, I'll be over yours later. 'kay?"

Kurt smiled at the disappointed look on his boyfriends face. He cupped Puck's cheek and spoke,

"Don't worry. You'll be round later, and then we've got all weekend." Kurt winked cheekily, and Puck's complexion brightened.

"I'll see you later." Puck smirked and kissed Kurt heavily on the lips before heading away. Kurt was beaming, and the girls who were previously next to him, where in front of him fake gagging.

"Oh shush girlies. Anyway, as I was saying..."

* * *

Puck and Santana sauntered down the hall towards the parking lot, towards Puck's old pick-up truck. They passed the old dumpster as they heard a voice from behind the green paint.

"Hey fag. Where's your boyfriend? You're not cheating on him with a girl, are you? Jeeze Santana, he's not man enough for anyone, let alone a slut like you."

Karofsky's voice was gruff against the light summer air. He swaggered towards them, clad in jeans and the signature letterman jacket. Two of his cronies followed closely behind.

"Leave San out of this, Karofsky." Puck fumed towards his ex-aquaintance, pushing Santana behind his back. They'd never been friends, but they'd been good until the school found out about Puck and Kurt's relationship. The school was okay, but Karofsky was always against it.

"Or what? You gonna squeal and shout for your mommy, Puckerman? Y'know what? I'm sick of you and your faggy boyfriend strolling around the halls like you own them. You homos don't belong here. You belong in some freak circus show. What did you do, Puckerman? Fuck his mom then make her introduce you to your little queer?"

Puck had heard enough. He lifted his fist and swiftly brought a punch to Karofsky's jaw. It fazed the hockey player for a second, before he brought his own punch down onto the opposing boy's ribs. Karofsky ordered his companions,

"Keep her away."

They headed behind Puck to grab Santana from him, her legs kicking up but them having a firm grip on her shoulders and arms.  
Puck didn't shake. He had learnt from fight club to never seem injured. He crouched and swept his foot along the floor, knocking Karofsky to the ground. The lumbering jock fought back as good as he got, and soon, both boys were running out of breath. Santana could do nothing as she stood at the sidelines where the two boys were holding her.

Karofsky managed to grab Puck's arms, and forced him into the wall of the dumpster. The harsh delayed bang signalled Puck's shaven head hitting against the metal. Karofsky had winded the gleek, and seemed intent to finish him right there. He grabbed Puck's throat, crushing it beneath his fingers.

"Don't showcase your faggy ass around here again, Puckerman. This is my school."

Karofsky let go of his neck, but brought down more punches to Puck's torso. Puck's energy was lost as he collapsed to the floor. Karofsky layed into Puck, kicking his head and back. The boys holding Santana had a similar hesitant look and shouted out to the ringleader.

"Karofsky! He's taken enough, you don't want to kill him!"

Karofsky turned toward his friends.

"You wanna save this homo, boys?"

"Dude, we're just saying...too much and you'll kill him."

"Don't tell me what to do, assholes."

Karofsky gave a harsh kick to the side of Puck's head before his acquaintances grabbed his arms and pulled him away, looking back themselves towards the dumpster with a shared worried look. Santana took this opportunity to call 911, and to run into the school to get Kurt.

Puck's breathing was laboured and short. There was blood everywhere, on the back of his head and dripping down to the floor, blood from his arms, legs, nose and mouth. Santana came running out of the school entrance with 3 people in tow, a certain boy running faster than the others, and seconds later, Kurt came landing next to Puck on the tarmac.

"Oh my god...Noah..."

Kurt fell to his hands and knees in front of his boyfriend, tears quietly slipping from his eyes as he took in the site before him. Quinn was pale with shock and despair, Mercedes couldn't speak, and Santana was holding her stomach and mouth.

"Kurt..."

Kurt took Noah's hand. He shuffled forward and spoke to him.

"Baby...it's me Noah. Kurt. I need you to stay awake, okay? Just stay awake for me Noah. There's help coming, Santana called the paramedics. They'll help you. I just need you to keep your eyes open. Look at me Noah."

Puck opened his eyes. They weren't the bright hazel they usually were. They were dull and sad, harbouring unshed tears. Kurt knew what that mean't. Noah probably wasn't going to make it to the hospital.

"Kurt..."

"Yes Noah? Stay awake, keep breathing. I can hear the sirens now baby. We'll be in the ambulance soon."

"It h-hurts so m-much."

Kurt sobbed. Tears came streaming down his face. He cupped Noah's least bruised cheek.

"I'm sorry Noah. But help is coming okay? You'll be fine."

Kurt didn't know whether he was trying to convince Noah or himself. He just willed himself to be strong for his boyfriend.

Noah squeezed Kurt's hand, as if trying to re-assure them both he was still alive.

"Kurt...I..."

His speech was cut off by loud sirens tearing into the parking lot. An ambulance and two police cars arrived at the scene, and the paramedics lifted Puck into the back of the ambulance.

"K-Kurt...stay with m-me."

Kurt nodded tearily and climbed into the ambulance after Puck.

The ambulance drove off, leaving Santana, Mercedes and Quinn with the police.

* * *

The ambulance drive felt like hours.

"K-kurt..."

"Yeah Noah?" Kurt looked down to his boyfriend, still teary eyed.

"I don't think I'll m-make it."

Kurt gasped.

"Don't say that Noah! You'll make it. Don't worry about it. Just stay awake Noah. Stay awake for me, please." Kurt's voice barely got through. He kissed Noah chastely on the lips, so it didn't cause more pain for his rapidly deteriorating boyfriend. "Please?"

"I-I love you Kurt."

Kurt's jaw dropped, just as Noah's heartbeat did. Incesant beeping clouded Kurt's mind as he was pushed out the way by the paramedics to try and get Noah's heart to restart. They kept trying as they speeded towards the hospital entrance. Noah was pushed out of the ambulance and straight into surgery.

Kurt's mind was blank apart from Noah's words to him. Noah loved him. And Kurt was now thinking that he could probably never say it back. He wouldn't be able to say it for a while without breaking down. He couldn't think about what could happen in the next few hours.

* * *

"I'm sorry Mrs Puckerman. Your son didn't pull through the surgery. His head injuries were too intense, causing a lot of bleeding onto the brain. It was too late by the time he was in surgery. We'll give you the full details soon. We're sorry we couldn't do anything for your son."

* * *

Kurt waited anxiously in the waiting room. It had been hours since the ambulance had taken Noah, and he hadn't moved since he first sat in the dull room. His fingernails were chewed raw to the quick. He never wanted anything more than what he wanted right now, which was the doctor coming in and saying Noah was alive.

Mrs Puckerman walked through the halls towards the waiting room. She had never been entirely happy about her sons gay relationship, but she had warmed to it, and felt Kurt should know right now.

"Mrs Puckerman? Is everything okay? Is Noah okay? Did he pull through?"

Kurt rushed his words. His tears were already pooling in his eyes. Mercedes was behind him, as she always was in his times of need, with Quinn and Santana beside her. Mrs Puckerman looked at him with sad eyes. He knew what that meant.

"I'm sorry Kurt. He didn't pull through." She turned around as tears rushed down her cheeks, and walked back towards her son's room. She wanted to see him once more, before they took him to the morgue.

Kurt collapsed to his knees. His face was emotionless, but it slowly creased and he broke into sobs, wrapping his arms tightly around himself. He sobbed loudly as Mercedes knelt in front of him and held him as he cried into her shoulder. Her own eyes were brimming with tears that shed closely after Kurt's started. Kurt sobbed into her shoulder until he couldn't cry any more. His throat was raw, his eyes ached and his head hurt.

Santana cried silently behind her friends. Quinn quietly sobbed next to her, behind her best friends. She turned to Santana and was brought into a hug as they both cried into each others shoulders.

"I need to go home."

Kurt's broken voice brought them all back from their trance. Mercedes looked at her bestfriend and nodded. She stood up and hauled Kurt up next to her. Kurt could hardly walk to his Navigator that had evidentally been driven by the girls to the hospital. They helped Kurt into the passenger seat, and closed the door. Mercedes turned to the other crying girls behind her.

"I'll take him home." Mercedes sniffed.

"We're coming too." Santana sobbed.

Quinn just nodded silently next to them. She had been silent since they first found Puck by the dumpster.

* * *

Mercedes drove them all home. Kurt silently rested his head on the window, emotionless. The friends walked into the Hummel/Hudson household, and straight down to the basement, ignoring the calls of the parents and Finn. Kurt lay down on his bed, and didn't move from his comatose state. The girls stayed sat on his bed, looking at the stairs.

"Hey girls, what's up with you and Kurt?" Burt's voice boomed down the stairs as he walked into their room. He noticed the tear stains on all the female cheeks in the room and his own son's distress.

"Mercedes?" Burt asked worriedly.

"Puck. Kurt's boyfriend. He got attacked, in the parking lot." Santana sobbed between the short sentences. "Hospital, surgery. Didn't make it. Died in surgery." Her tears resumed down her face and pooled on her chin. Burt's heart stopped momentarily, taking in the new information.

"I'm so sorry girls." Burt's eyes looked moist at receiving the news. He liked Puck, a lot. He was family.

"I need to talk to Kurt. Would you mind, girls? I think you might need to inform Finn, too. He's upstairs."

The girls all raised, linking their hands together, and ascended slowly up the stairs toward the living room, towards the oblivious stepbrother and his mother, not prepared to explain what had rocked their lives today.

Burt sat on the edge of his son's bed, looking for any sign of movement.

"I'm so sorry Kurt."

Kurt mumbled something inaudible.

"What?"

"It should have been me."

"No Kurt, it shouldn't, it shouldn't have been you nor Puck, okay? No one deserves that."

"He was only gay 7 months ago. And he gets murdered. I've been gay forever, why am I alive?" Kurt curled the comforter his mother had made around his fist, as he spoke into his pillow. He sobbed more.

"Kurt...you're alive, and thats what matters, okay? Puck should be alive too, but he's not, and we can't do any more."

"But Puck should be alive, dad! He should be here, sat next to Finn playing Mario whilst I read my magazine next to him! I shouldn't be crying because he's dead!" Kurt cried as he looked at his father.

Burt sighed.

"I want him back Dad. I need him to come back."

"I know, Kurt. I know."

* * *

**i'm not sure whether i like this chapter or not tbh.  
theres another piece to this story, but it won't be posted as another chapter. it can be read as stand alone, but meant to be a sequel to this. i've already written it, and it'll be posted tomorrow, if my internet is nice to me. :) this story is now complete, apart from the sequel.  
review? xx**

_ooh ooh ohh. if you review...maybe leave a prompt there for me?__**  
**_**i prefer to write stories for prompts than make up my own storyline...makes me work harder to fulfil the prompt. but this story was my own thoughts.  
prompts: happy? sad? angsty? fluff? whatever. i'll try and write it. 3 xx**


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